Wednesday, October 3, 2012

BDSM: Part IV - “Master and Servant”


BDSM: Part IV - "Master and Servant"
 
This is the last of my 4-Part In a BDSM Dungeon.
 
“Master and Servant” another 80s group by Depeche Mode. Obviously by the title you can tell it's a BDSM themed song, the lyrics too. One line says it all: “Domination is the name of the game, in bed or life!” While I searched for BDSM themed songs, I found this group had a number of them. Thank you all who read and commented and shared thoughts and views in this blog series. Please keep the comments coming since many of us (including myself) are continuing to learn about this often misunderstood lifestyle for our own curiosity and for writers who wish to write more accurate and deeply emotional erotic romance stories within this subgenre.

Frogs – Fortunately I didn’t meet any frogs at Paddles. Everyone was very nice and respectable. Frogs are inappropriate people that enter the BDSM lifestyle. They can either be rude and interrupt a scene (which will get you thrown out of a club by the way), or mean with a I-can-hit-you-attitude because I’m a Dom. Those are abusers, not Dominants. Those who leave their subs after a scene without aftercare—attending to their physical/emotional needs, would come under the definition of a frog. For writers, these could be the villains of a story.
 

Subspace – As much as I read about subspace in fiction and non-fiction books, I was completely amazed when I saw this for myself at Paddles a number of times. Saw it, not experienced. Whether it was from a scene of flogging, electrical play, bondage, needle play, etc., I saw several incidences of subspace. From the masochist who was clinging to her sadist boyfriend, to others who could barely walk, in most instances, it was not hard to point out a person experiencing subspace. This was my take on it: A person in subspace seems to be overloaded in physical and/or emotional sensations and perhaps is pushed into a different level of consciousness, or perhaps they have an overload of endorphins. I’m not sure. But a person in subspace can get weepy, have glazed eyes, slurred speech and walks like a drunk. They can be very disoriented. They definitely should not drive. Treat them as if you have a drunk friend. The effect can last a day or more. No, the flogging session didn’t send me into subspace but I did get a couple bruises. J
 
Cellophane and creative bondage- In part II, I mentioned about the blue cellophane bondage scene I watched. That was quite a scene and took a lot of time and planning. The Dom had a special wide collar on his sub that covered her mouth and all of her neck. She started out naked and he wrapped most of her body. Her arms were crossed, hands partially covering her breasts. Somehow with straps and a pulley system he suspended her off the ground. Pieces of blue cellophane stretched out like rays. I’m sure he had to be extra careful that the cellophane wasn’t cutting off circulation or that she wasn't getting overheated. When he was done, she looked like an erotic blue creature caught in a blue spider’s web.

Another jail in the dungeon
 
Is Paddles Haunted? An interesting observation was made during my visit at Paddles. Another member of our group also had a similar experience. I believe the club might be haunted. No kidding. Before many people arrived at the club, I was standing in the main area by the bar taking in the sights. I was by myself. I felt someone grab my butt. I spun around expecting to see someone from our group teasing me, but there was no one there and no one had passed by. I wasn’t near anyone and was standing in the middle of the room. Can’t blame it on alcohol, because they don’t allow alcohol. This also happened to someone else in our group. So what do you think?

This workshop and the visit to Paddles was a wonderful learning experience. I met some great people and learned a lot. I also got tons of new ideas for future stories, including the ones I’m working on.

If you’re a writer and interested in learning about the BDSM lifestyle I have to plug Dr. Charley Ferrer’s workshop BDSM for Writers  http://www.bdsmforwriters.com/  And also her book of the same name: BDSM for Writers. She has other books on the topic too if you’re just interested in the topic.
 
 

Thank you to those at the workshop and Paddles for your kindness and openness to share in your experiences or allowing me to watch.  And it was wonderful meeting those of you at the workshop. Please stay in touch. Don’t forget to checkout Cris Anson’s blog or Francesca Hawley’s blog http://www.francescahawley.com for upcoming posts. And thanks for visiting my blog and sharing your thoughts. 

4 comments:

Cris Anson said...

Hmmm. Re your comment about subspace, I don't know if I qualified, although your description might encompass it. I think, though, mine was more of an endorphin high followed by endorphin drop. Eh, what do I know? I'm as new to the BDSM scene as you are. But the experience will surely enrich our writing, won't it?

Kathy Kulig said...

Hi Cris, Yes, I think the weekend was a great learning experience for all of us. And it will definitely enhance our writing. :)

Dr. Charley Ferrer said...

Hi Kathy,

Thank you for the recommendation to my BDSM for Writer's Workshop/Conference. It was such a pleasure having you and Cris Anson and Francesca Hawley and many others at the event. I know that your books are amazing and will be even more spectacular as you share your real life experiences and research with your readers.

Gosh, the "sacrafices" great author's do for their craft! chuckles.

Live with passion,

Doctor Charley...

Kathy Kulig said...

You're welcome and thank you, Dr. Charley. I had a fabulous time and appreciate your time and kindness during the workshop. I learned a lot and believe it will enhance my writing in this area. Ah, yes, the 'sacrifices' authors must make for their craft. LOL