Do erotica writers try out sexy, kinky encounters for inspiration for their books? Their sex scenes may be based on true-life experiences, some are embellished and some are just made up. When authors openly admit to their kinky love lives, do readers prefer their books over those who keep their bedroom doors closed?
I love to read and write erotica and erotic romance, the hotter and edgier the better. Although with the exception of a couple stories or scenes, I think most of my erotic sex scenes are moderate. I could easily go much darker and intense, but my fan base seems to prefer the lighter side of BDSM, ménage, two-somes and more-somes.
As I try to expand my career in erotic romance, I’m studying my peers—authors who write in similar genres and are hugely successful. These authors I love to read and I’ve admired their work for years. So I want to see what they’re doing that I’m not. I know I can learn from them.
One thing I’ve notice with a number of the top selling erotica authors (not all), is that they are very open about the sexually explicit details of living an alternative lifestyle. They frequently discuss their personal sexual escapades. Some are involved in a D/s (Dominant/submissive BDSM relationship), others admit to being swingers or having experienced ménage—threesomes or more sexual encounters or having particular fetishes. I completely support them and admire their freedom to do so!
Personally, I think our culture has taken a few giant steps backwards toward the Dark Ages in respect to their archaic views on sex. Don’t people LIKE sex anymore??
***Now, do readers believe authors open about their adventurous, kinky sex lives have extra SPICE in their stories??? Do they think their books are better?
***Conversely, if these authors had never admitted to their adventurous sex lives, would they still be selling as many books???
I think there are a number of romance/erotica authors keep their love lives private, but still have adventurous and even kinky sex lives. Perhaps their jobs and family issues prevent them from having the freedom to ‘come out of the closet’. Or they just prefer to keep their private life—private. There was a school teacher from central Pennsylvania who writes erotic romance under a pen name. She never gave her real name because she taught high school and was worried that her conservative town would have issues. Then with the power of the internet, someone found out. Just that she WROTE erotic romance. A group of mothers whose teenagers were in this teacher’s class, tried to get the teacher fired. The students supported the teacher and so did the school board, thankfully.
In my town, I was interviewed by a couple local papers. One small community paper was shut down by the mayor (he pulled the town’s funding), because he received so many negative letters about me being featured in the paper. In another online newspaper, the nasty comments were flung around between those opposed to my work and the lovely writers supporting me. Names like pervert, porn writer, and one even called my husband a cuckold. The name calling didn’t upset me at all. On the contrary, the sales that week on my books were pretty impressive. What upset me terribly was the paper being shut down. I asked the editor if there was anything I could do. She was one of my lovely supporters. She said, it was a blessing in disguise and she would move on to better things.
With every interview I have, I can guarantee one question always will be: Do you do all the kinky stuff in your books? What if instead of saying: Everything in my books is fiction, I decided to tell the world that YES! I LIVE A KINKY SEX LIFE TOO? I’ve been active in BDSM for years, have had several ménage encounters, have a closet full of kinky fetish wear and sex toys, and all the ‘research’ for my erotic books are hands-on to some extent. Hmmm. How would readers respond to that? Seriously, I’m curious if an open kinky sex life gives credibility to an erotic romance author.
This is not a criticism toward readers. I love, love my readers. They rock! And I love when they tell me what they like and don’t like. Perhaps people with medical backgrounds might write better medical thrillers, those with a science background might write better science fiction? So as readers or authors, I’d love to hear your opinion.
*Do erotic romance authors have to open their bedroom to entice readers to their books?
*Do you think kinky writers write better books?