In a BDSM Dungeon
It’s no big
surprise that Rihanna’s hit song “Whips and Chains Excite Me” is about BDSM.
When I did a search for BDSM songs for possible titles for my blog series, I
was stunned by some of the songs and artists that had BDSM overtones
or themes. And there are a ton of songs. I think I’ll leave that for a later
blog post. The video for this song is very hot too.
Author Cris Anson is doing a 4-part blog series of her
experiences too. She’ll be posting on the same days as this series. Please check out her
blog as well: http://crisansonspassions.blogspot.com/
BDSM is an acronym
for Bondage, Discipline, Sado-masochism. Ever wonder what it’s really like
inside an actual BDSM club dungeon? Recently, I had that opportunity while
attending a 3-day BDSM Writers Workshop given by Dr. Charley Ferrer in New York
City. http://www.bdsmforwriters.com/Conferences.html
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| Whips and Chains, etc. |
Before attending the club for the first night on Friday, we had an extensive full-day workshop of detailed lectures on various topics about the BDSM lifestyle, definitions, psychology, etc.
Even with all the
research I’ve done on this topic, I came away with a much broader knowledge of
the BDSM lifestyle. Some things I knew, or thought I knew, but ended up being a
quite different. And some things I totally had no clue about.
·
BDSM
is not all about whips and chains. The power exchange between the Dominant and
submissive can be experienced in other ways. These individuals desire a deep
spiritual and emotional connection.
·
A
BDSM club isn’t a sex club. Intercourse isn’t allowed unless there is a private
area. Most open clubs don’t have this.
·
Knife
play, needle play and fire play are high risk BDSM activities but they are
common in a club. This really surprised me. No wonder they don’t serve alcohol.
·
The
clubs Dungeon Masters or safety guards may wear a reflective vest like a school
crossing guard. I thought this was rather cute. But they wandered around
observing the scenes, especially the RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) scenes
for participants not following safety precautions, scenes getting out of hand,
not following club rules, etc. They work in shifts so get to “play” after their
shift.
·
Subspace
is real. I saw a number of participants in deep subspace and have a better
understanding of it. More on this in a later post.
·
Wearing
of a collar is a sacred thing in the D/s and M/s (Master/slave) relationship
like wearing a wedding ring. A collar signifies ownership. The color can have
significance too. A light blue one may mean a person is in training, a new
relationship. Black used to mean available but is a popular color now for
style. Gold and silver means permanent relationship.
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| Kathy and Dr. Charley Ferrer |
Friday Night at Paddles , Intro.
Paddles, http://www.paddlesnyc.com/, is one of the longest, if not THE longest
running BDSM club in the U.S. Was I nervous? Hell, yeah. I knew I’d stick out
as a non-player and expected to get a lot of annoyed, rude looks and/or
comments. I was afraid they’d look at me as a lurker and gawker. In a way I
was, but in a sincere way to learn. I also expected everyone to be dressed in
fetish wear—leather, latex creations and a few were but most had club attire,
dresses or jeans and tee-shirts/collared shirts. Dressed nice.
Unless you know
where you are going, Paddles isn’t easy to find. 250 West 26th St.
between 7th and 8th Avenues. It’s an unmarked metal door
beneath a Veterinary Clinic sign. When the door is open, the word ‘Paddles’ is
marked in black letters on the door.
We walked down a
long concrete hallway, then down stairs into a basement. It felt a little
creepy because it was dark and musty. At a window we gave our names and got our
hand stamped. A gentleman in front of us was new to the club and was given the
rules before he was allowed inside—No alcohol allowed, you may watch a scene
but not interrupt, nudity is permitted but no sex. No touching unless given
permission.
Inside, we passed a
small room where you can borrow a toy: flogger, paddle, etc. in exchange for
your driver’s license to make sure you’ll bring the toy back. There’s a bar for
soft drinks or water.
The walls are made
to look and feel like stone in a castle dungeon, the lighting is dark. The club
is sectioned off but the rooms are open. There is, however, an area called
Pandora that is private. I’ll explain about that in a later post.
When we first
entered, we passed the main area by the bar and saw a woman at the far wall.
She was naked, her wrists bound overhead and she was getting flogged. She
seemed to be enjoying the attention. Victor, who has a warped and sweet sense
of humor, gave us a tour. The rooms contained various pieces of Medieval-like
furniture with straps or rigging for bondage. A bed with ankle and wrist straps
that looked like a rack from the Spanish Inquisition, a split-seat chair with
arm restraints, a spanking bench, a large chair for…well use your imagination.
A cupboard contained cleaning materials and paper towels for wiping down
furniture after use. Just like the gym equipment. J There’s a jail
cell too. Other rooms contained St. Andrew’s Crosses, padded tables, hooks in
the walls, floors and ceilings.
The one thing I did
notice was how friendly, warm and open everyone was. Friday night was a small
crowd. A group called DomSub Friends were there. A number of people knew Dr.
Charley and knew “the writers” were there too. People would come up and ask, “Are
you one of the writers?” And they were more than happy to talk and answer
questions. Michael the owner was super. He was so accommodating to us by
explaining things and showing us around. He even gave us a tour into the
private section of the club called Pandora.
In the next segment
of this blog I’ll talk about our tour of Pandora, and knife, needle and fire play.
NOTE: This blog series is about The BDSM Writers Workshop Weekend I attended last August. It was taught by Dr. Charley Ferrer. This blog series will be broken up in four parts:
- BDSM: Part I - “Whips and Chains Excite Me” (9/12)
- BDSM: Part II - “Baby Let’s Play Rough”- Part 2 (9/19)
- BDSM: Part III - “Sweet Dreams are Made of This”- (9/26)
- BDSM: Part IV - “Master and Servant” (10/3)
