Dark Odyssey Research: When Does Swinging Become Cheating?

While doing research for the next two books in my Dark Odyssey series at Ellora’s Cave, (current books: Spring Break and Summer Sins), a topic came up that sparked my interest: When does swinging cross the line into cheating for swingers?

I was interviewing a couple and singles involved in the BDSM and swinging lifestyle, asking a variety of questions and this topic came up by accident. One couple commented that another couple they knew, who were swingers, had recently divorced because the husband was cheating.

I was confused. After all, isn’t that what swinging is all about? Being open to experiencing sexual interaction with other people, while maintaining a loving relationship as a couple? Swingers are free-spirited when it comes to exploring their sensuality. Many couples I interviewed have been married or in relationships many years, and have been swingers or into BDSM the entire time. I’ve notice a strong connection and attentiveness between the partners. They claim to have a sincere desire to understand and meet each other’s physical, emotional and sexual needs. They try to look their best and enjoy having fun as a couple as well with their interactions with other people—and it’s not always about sex, it’s social too. I had to ask how and when the line was crossed from swinging into cheating in this particular relationship.

They didn’t mind me asking. Was the husband cheating because the wife didn’t know about the woman, I asked? No, she knew, the situation was the problem. The wife had a job which required her to travel out of town. During the days that the wife was away, the girlfriend moved into the house and lived there. She was acting like a replacement, not a play partner. The wife would’ve been okay with a play partner, where her husband occasionally saw her. She wouldn’t have minded the woman participating in a threesome, but the other woman refused to come around or meet the wife. When the wife objected, claiming her husband was crossing a line, the husband disagreed. This woman wasn’t respecting their limits as a couple and he wasn’t respecting their limits in their marriage. He refused to stop seeing her. It no longer became a social interaction, it became an intimate and emotional relationship that invaded the wife’s space and undermined their marriage. Line crossed. Marriage ended, sadly.

At Romanticon October 9-12 in Canton, Ohio I’ll be doing a workshop Researching Erotic Novels With or Without the Flogging with authors Cindy Jacks and Wendi Zwaduk

  

My Wicked Writing Process—A Crazy Writing Adventure #amwriting

Wicked or wild or weird. Not sure how you would describe my writing process, or creative process. I write erotic romance. Some contemporary, paranormal, and BDSM. Many writers have shared their writing process during this blog tour. They've shared the inside scoop and answered questions about how they go about creating the stories they do. I decided to share mine too.

It’s different for every author. Some are pansters (just sit down and jump into a story with a vague idea), others are plotters (outline in detail, write synopses of the complete book with character sketches before they start), and then there are the hybrid authors, like me, who do a little of both. My friend A.C. James posted her Writing Process last week. Check hers out http://www.acjames.com/blog-4/ . She has a crazy process too as most writers do.

If you look into my writing process, you may be taking a walk on the dark side. After all, I write BDSM and paranormal romance.

What am I working on? I’m working on a couple exciting projects right now. Come join the Facebook page to learn more about one huge project:

https://www.facebook.com/spicebox16steamystories

While you’re there please LIKE my Facebook fan page: www.facebook.com/kathykuligauthor

I have an erotic vampire romance submitted to my editor at Ellora’s Cave titled Nightlord Lover. I’m planning for it to be the first in a new erotic paranormal series. I’m also working on the next erotic contemporary/BDSM book in my Dark Odyssey series following Summer Sins.

My other big news is I’ll have a new release coming out, release date TBA soon, titled Red Tape. It’s the start of a new erotic suspense series called Secret Deceptions. A bit darker and edgier than my Ellora’s Cave books, fair warning. J

How does my work differ from others of its genre? Many of my stories tend to be ‘mashups’ where there are combinations of subgenres. My Demons in Exile series have demons, shapeshifters, a little sci fi and urban fantasy mixed in. My contemporary Dark Odyssey series has BDSM and ménage stories. And I also write erotic romance with suspense.

Why do I write what I do? I write what I enjoy reading. I was a huge science fiction and paranormal reader before I was a romance reader (still am). And I love reading thrillers, mystery and spy novels. I also love erotic contemporary books and the intensity of the romances within those stories.

My Writing Space (when organized)

How does your writing process work? Process? If you can call it that. It’s not always linear because I’m usually working on a few projects at the same time like now. My strategy (goal) is to be organized, focused and write faster. I brainstorm, make a brief outline using Michael Hauge’s outline, write, revise/edit, rewrite, rewrite, rewrite, submit to my editor, revise according to the editors recommendations and publish…then move on to the next project.

My key three points for a successful writer: Attitude, motivation and persistence in my opinion. Craft and sitting down and writing every day and doing the work too! Oh, and reading in and out of my genre. It’s a great escape but also a subconscious learning tool.

If you want to hear first about my new releases, contests, etc. sign up for my newsletter: http://eepurl.com/FC_nP

I also make announcements on my blog The Lusty View and my website.

SUMMER SINS #BDSM When You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Hotter

SUMMER SINS, new BDSM erotica from Ellora's Cave to be released November 15, 2013.

The Lusty View will post my Predictions of Sex in the Future in the column for next week, but I had to share exciting news of my new BDSM book coming to Ellora's Cave on November 15, 2013. SUMMER SINS is my hottest BDSM story yet. Check out the blurb and excerpt below.

Summer Sins -Coming 11.15.13

BLURB: Master Adrian Cayne knows how to bring exquisite pain or pleasure to a woman’s body. Before he’ll take on an inexperienced submissive, he expects her to pass a series of seductive tests of increasing intensity to see if she’s receptive to his unique and dark skills. Under his command and relentless determination, she’ll relinquish control to him.

Emma is known to thoroughly research her articles for the tabloid magazine Scandal. Her latest assignment to write about Dark Odyssey, a new BDSM club, is her chance to indulge in her taboo desires for the sex she craves as a submissive. With her job and future career on the line, she has to write a lurid, gossip story. But her heart isn’t in it because she falling for Adrian.

Raw and hot passion draws them past guarded limits, but when secrets are revealed, trust will be the final test for true love.

EXCERPT: 

     When Adrian walked into the foyer he spotted Cynthia and the redhead standing next to her. His body immediately responded with a tug in the gut and a tightening in his groin. She was a tad shorter than Cynthia, which would put her at about five–seven. The green dress molded to her curvy body, athletic but not skinny. Fair skin gleamed with a natural glow. He lived in Florida but he was as pale as some of the snowbirds. Carter was right, he worked too damn much.

     As if she sensed his perusal, she looked his way and made eye contact. Confident, intelligent eyes, but slightly vulnerable. As a sub, she’d be perfect if that was her inclination. He didn’t like subs who had no mind of their own. They were overly dependent, needy. Too bad she had no experience.

     “Hey, Emma.” Carter walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Meet our friend, Adrian Cayne.”

     They shook hands and exchanged greetings. For a newbie she didn’t seem that nervous or managed to cover it up well.

     “Emma is a caretaker at an animal shelter,” Carter said. “And Adrian’s a doctor.”

     “What specialty?” Emma asked.

     “Neurosurgery,” Adrian said. “What kinds of animals have you cared for?”

     “Mostly dogs and cats. When I worked at Animal Kingdom, I had a chance to work with all types.”

     “What brought you down here?” Adrian asked.

     “It was… A number of things brought about the relocation.” She didn’t explain.

     Maybe she moved with a boyfriend and it didn’t work out. He wasn’t going to press.

     “I just love this room,” Cynthia said, changing the subject as she gazed out toward the ocean. “It’s still quiet, but on busy nights, this room is full of guests. You usually won’t see couples or groups having sex out here, just touching, sometimes getting naked. Hard core stuff goes on in the rooms.”

     “Has anyone explained the rules yet?” Carter asked Emma.

     “Not completely.”

     “An open door is an invitation to watch,” Adrian offered. “Those playing inside a room must invite you in. Guests can’t just waltz in during a group scene. It’s rather rude and you’ll probably get thrown out. If there are enough complaints, a guest can be asked to leave the club.” He watched her expression. A Dom could pick up the smallest telltales. He focused his attention on her soft, hazel eyes. She was looking at him and around the room, alert, taking in every detail. The muscles in her jaw and long neck were relaxed but she gripped the strap of her purse with a tight fist.

     Adrian had numerous encounters in here over the years. Eager subs anxiously anticipating a scene. Could she be his next eager sub? Or was she a newbie who thought she might like bondage only to freak out the moment she had to give up a little control. That was the disadvantage of taking on a new submissive.

“Dark Odyssey was overdue,” Carter explained to Emma. “The one semi-bondage room with restraint table and swing was very popular. Patrons kept requesting more rooms with better bondage equipment.” He pointed the way toward a long hallway where the old playrooms were. He described the rules—how no, meant no. If any guest approached her and she told him no and was still pressured, then tell one of the guys in the black TropiX T–shirts.

     Adrian stood beside her. “You’re not saying much?”

     She jumped and looked up at him. “I’m taking it all in. This is new for me.”

     “Adrian!” A woman called from across the room. It took him a moment but he recognized the voice.       Every muscle in his body tensed. If he had known she would be here, he wouldn’t have come.

     Jill strutted across the room in killer platform heels and a slinky silvery-white dress that was practically see–through. Her brown hair was longer since he’d seen her last, pulled back from her shoulders. More of her breasts hung out of the dress than were contained. Her rosy areolas showed through the flimsy material. Sliding between Adrian and Emma, her back rudely facing Emma, she put her arms around him and kissed him. “I’ve missed you, Master. So glad to see you’re back. Will you take me to Dark Odyssey this evening?” She lowered her head and slid her hands down his chest.

     Grasping her hands, Adrian gently pulled them away. “Good to see you, Jill. I’m with friends this evening.” He stepped back to introduce Emma, Cynthia and Carter.

     Jill gave Emma a quick up-and-down glance and apparently decided she wasn’t competition. “Would you like me to give you all a tour of Dark Odyssey?” She hooked arms with Adrian.

     “Thanks, Jill, but Cynthia and Carter will be giving us a tour.” He knew how possessive and needy she could be and he didn’t want to get into that now.

     Jill’s expression hardened with a forced smile. “Enjoy the tour. I’ll talk to you later, Adrian. I’ll be down here for a while unless I meet someone.”

     “Have a good evening,” he said. The others, including Emma said goodbye.

      Across the room, two men and a woman on one of the sofas fondled one another. The men groped her breasts and between her legs. A second later, her blouse was off and one man sucked her nipples. The woman had her hand down one guy’s pants while kissing the other man. Adrian noticed Emma watched them with parted lips.

     “Anything appeal to you? Or offend?” Adrian asked.

     “I like the openness and sensual atmosphere,” she said. “I feel safe. I’m not sure if I’d get into the group thing. Although, I can’t say I wouldn’t try it. But what always interested me was bondage. I don’t claim to understand it, but I’m intrigued by it.” She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her hands were grasped tightly together.

     Adrian noticed everything. A twitch of a muscle was a clue when he was pushing his partner toward her limit. Emma had the most expressive eyes, sensual and innocent, but defiant too.

     His groin tightened again and he clenched his teeth. It had been too long since he fucked a sweet sub, drew every ounce of pleasure from her until she moaned in ecstasy. To have a sub willing to surrender, willing to allow him to push her beyond her limits was what he needed badly. Could he have a woman in a vanilla-only relationship? “You have a question? You look confused. Have you not seen a ménage before?”

     “I’ve not watched one before. I was wondering if a Dom has more than one submissive?”

     He smiled. “Depends whether he wants to be exclusive or not.”

     “We’ll show you Dark Odyssey before it gets crowded,” Cynthia said.

TODAY: I'M SIGNING AT THE ROMANTICON BOOK FAIR NOON-4 PM in the Ballroom at the McKinley Grand Hotel, Canton, Ohio. 80+ Ellora's Cave authors.